How to cook a delicious camp dinner in rainy weather

Step 1. Collect a good supply of timber

Step 2. Totally forget to keep your timber supply dry

Step 3. Convince yourself that if you buy dry kindling you’ll be okay

Step 4. Optimistically buy elaborate dinner ingredients and kindling

Step 5. Try to light fire, realise your long fire lighter has been left out in the rain

Step 6. Frantically scramble around caravan to find your tiny Bic lighter

Step 7. Try to light fire using paper and kindling, burn your finger then watch fire slowly go out

Step 8. Watch as your partner tries to light fire using an aerosol can. Yell at him

Step 9. Go look for more paper. Hear the aerosol can go again. Yell some more.

Step 10. Repeat step 7 over and over again for what seems like an eternity, while in constant drizzling rain.

Step 11. Yell at the kids to get in the ca r

Step 12. Go get pizza

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Idiot puts cast iron pot in dishwasher.

Sets off ALL the fire alarms reseasoning zee bitch.

Using coconut oil to reseason my cast iron pot which has only seen one use. So the consensus seems to be

Step 1

Yell at whoever put it in the dishwasher 

Might skip this step as I was the dozy cow in question.

Step 2

Wipe off all rust with paper towel

I have no paper towel so I have substituted this with ruining a perfectly good tea towel 

Step 3

Coat pot in animal fat

Hmmn no…  reaches for coconut oil

Step 4 

Rub fat into pot

And face, and hair, and shirt.

Step 5

Cook at high temperature for 1 hour

… Or until neighbours call the fire brigade.

Repeat steps 1 to 5 until the people you are staying with because you are hairy interlopers kick you out… with good reason

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